2018 will see another monthly project for Bruno, our delightful golden retriever.  This will be a relatively low key project with somewhere between one to three photos per month.  For the first quarter of the project he was a bed hog, a dog hanging out at the table, the homework helper, and the Easter Brunny.

Bed Hogs

His first project photo of 2018 was sharing the stacked dog beds with Agnes. I would say that they are like two peas in a pod, but Bruno clearly don’t fit in this pod. Bruno is getting better with Agnes and does not always protest when she touches him. Unless she’s interrupting a nap and then he grumbles like an old man telling the neighbourhood kids to get off his lawn.

Agnes: Hey Bruno, guess what?
Bruno: Chicken butt?
Agnes: Nope.
Bruno: Oh. Then I have no idea.
Agnes: We’re sharing a puppy bed. That must mean that you really like me.
Bruno: We’re not sharing a bed. I happen to be on the big round beige one.
Agnes: Nope, you are clearly in the little blue one with me.
Bruno: Nope. I don’t fit in the blue one so there’s no way we’re sharing it. Two dog beds, two dogs. See, no sharing.
Agnes: I’m pretty sure that there’s a flaw with your version of the facts.

Having a Seat at the Table Like an Ordinary Dog Does

This was not my idea for a photo with Bruno, but it was his idea for what he wanted to do. Occasionally he decides that he needs to have a seat at the kitchen table. We’re never sure what makes him do this as sometimes there is nothing on the table and no one sitting there. I was trying to do a photo of him under the table but apparently this was one of those times he needed to be seated in a chair. So oddly enough this is a ‘slice of life’ photo at our house. A very odd slice of life indeed.

Dave: Hey Bruno, what are you doing in the kitchen chair?
Bruno: Not much. Just hanging out and visiting with the kids.
Dave: You do realize that most dogs hang out with people without leaving the ground.
Bruno: That makes no sense. How would they ever see what is on the table if they’re on the ground?
Dave: Um, most dogs don’t have a pathological need to see what’s on the table.
Bruno: Oh. That’s surprising.
Dave: Yup. Surprising and true.
Bruno: Well if that’s the case, how can they participate in polite dinner table conversation if they’re not seated at the table?
Dave: Um Bruno, I hate to break this to you, but most dogs don’t have polite dinner table conversation with their humans.
Bruno: Man. I never saw that one coming. I think I’m just going to need to take a seat at the table and think about it like all dogs do when they have big things to think about.

Homework Helper

Bruno trying to help with grade 5 math. Or maybe he’s just waiting for Julia to be done so she can play with him. But most likely he’s about to climb on her lap to interrupt the process for cuddles.

Bruno: Hey Julia, can I help you with your homework?
Julia: Sorry Bruno. It’s math, and I don’t think you’re very good at it.
Bruno: I’m awesome at math.
Julia: Really? I didn’t know you were awesome at math.
Bruno: Neither did I. I’m awesome at everything though so I’m sure that math will be no different. I just have one question. What’s math?
Julia: It’s the science of numbers. And right now we’re solving equations.
Bruno: Yup. Equations are delicious. Love equations.
Julia: I don’t think you’re supposed to eat equations.
Bruno: Supposed to or not supposed to. Such binary thinking. I have eaten your homework before and I will do it again.
Julia: That is not what I would consider helpful.
Bruno: Okay, we’ll play it your way. Just tell me what’s an equation then I’ll solve it for you.
Julia: Well, it’s when everything on the left side of the equal sign must add up to everything on the other side of the equals sign. You know, like 2 plus 2 equals 4.
Bruno: Oh. I still don’t get it.
Julia: Let’s put it like this. If I had two cookies then added two more there would be four cookies.
Bruno: Got it. So if we said my mouth plus your paper equals delicious that would be a solved equation.
Julia: Sort of …
Bruno: Perfect. Lets get going. Now can you get me a sampling platter of some delicious equations?

The Easter Brunny

Dave: Hey Easter Brunny.
Bruno: Hey Dave.
Dave: I see you came back for another easter season.
Bruno: Yup. Lots of work to do.
Dave: Work? That’s never been your strong suit.
Bruno: True that. I did think about giving up the role Easter Brunny, but there was a problem with that.
Dave: You were worried about all of the disappointed children in the world if you didn’t deliver treats on Easter morning?
Dave: Dude, I think you’re overestimating my ambitions. I was never going to break into homes around the world leaving food behind. I believe more in eating whatever food I find.
Dave: Then what is your plan?
Bruno: Rocking the bunny ears. I do a remarkably good job at wearing things on my head.
Dave: Agreed. That is your special talent. But what would be the problem if you skipped being the Easter Brunny this year?
Bruno: Dude, it’s pretty obvious. Think of all the people who would be deprived of the joy and happiness they get from watching me rock these ears. I couldn’t deprive the world of that.